If you’re with a man who doesn’t appreciate you, the most important thing is this:
You don’t teach someone to value you by overgiving, chasing, or staying longer — You teach them by how you respond to being undervalued.
Here’s what you should do — in clear, grounded steps.
1. Get honest with yourself
Ask:
Am I feeling taken for granted?
Do I feel emotionally drained around him?
Is he showing consistent effort or just doing the bare minimum to keep me around?
Don’t justify his behavior. See it clearly.
2. Communicate directly — once
Say exactly how you feel, what you need, and what will happen if things don’t change.
Script example:
“I feel unappreciated when you [specific behavior].
I need [specific change].
If that doesn’t happen, I’ll have to reconsider this relationship.”
Don’t argue. Don’t beg. Just state it. Once. Then watch what he does, not what he says.
3. Stop over-functioning
If you’re the one:
Always initiating
Fixing things emotionally
Doing more than you’re receiving
Stop. Let the imbalance be obvious. Let him feel the loss of your energy. This is often the first wake-up call.
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